Why, Bloch, Why?

I made a mistake. I decided to comment negatively on one of Bloch’s recent Instagram posts. Why? Because I did not like the leotards they had designed. (Dear Bloch: I LOVE a LOT of your designs, have 2 of your rehearsal tutus, a pair of Bloch booties, and so many more items from your store…

Anxiety Rebalance: All the Answers You Need to Overcome Anxiety and Depression by Carl Vernon My rating: 5 of 5 stars When I reached a point where it felt like my anxiety was overwhelming, I reached out online and searched through several different books before landing on this one. The word “Rebalance” stood out to…

This week was great…and it was horrible. Diary of an Anxietist

Starting with Wednesday: took Men’s Class. The pirouettes a la segonde are improving – a lot, in fact. I can feel my sartorius engaging and initiating the movement. This means my core, my hip rotation, is strengthening and staying in proper alignment to support the movement, rather than going in and out. This “in and out”…

These Shoes Are Too Hard – Now They’re Too Soft!

I began yesterday’s rehearsal with a brand-new pair of Russian Pointe shoes, hard and un-molded to my feet. After a warm-up at the barre for 45 minutes, one run-through of Snow, Flowers, and Sugar Plum variation, they were almost too dead to get through the fouettés in the coda.  But, I asked myself, is it…

3 Days Away From The First Anniversary

The first anniversary of my mother’s passing.  Is it weird that I feel guilty about feeling happier today than I did a week ago?  Meaning, even as this year has been one of the saddest of my life, the first year without my best friend in the whole world, my mother, at the same time,…

The Art Of Taking Time Off

Last month was a doozy. With a lingering cold that snuck up on me and quietly took me down like a rhino in a molasses swamp, things were already looking dreary.  But then came the hamstring pull. This nasty injury had been threatening and insinuating for months. It wasn’t until I tried to go into…

Work Smarter, Not Harder

It’s Monday, October 3rd. On Saturday, I think I made some more breakthroughs in ballet. My right hamstring is on hiatus, so I had to take barre with care, once again. Did I mention, on Thursday, Diane told me I had one of my best, most-turned out barres ever?! Fitting that my October Goal is…

When Sickness, Injury, & Frustration Combine…

… I decide to take it out on my journal.  I scribbled down this rant circa Friday, September 30th: I’ve been going non-stop since February made lots of progress (although when I watch footage, I still cringe) Finally, my body has rebelled – body AND soul! caught a bad cold end of last week, still…

Taking A Day Off

In the world of Ballet, “taking a day off” is a lot different. Today, I started with Pilates class.  I had previously planned on taking ballet directly afterwards, but from the moment I awoke this morning, I could tell that my body had other ideas. I could feel the gentle throb of exhaustion in my…

What Happened To Knowing Your Ballet History?

I stood in front of 6 dancers, all in their teens, and all (or at least, most) supposedly dedicated to becoming professional ballet dancers. This was variations class, and I had decided to teach them the first solo from Les Sylphides. I asked them, “who can tell me the choreographer of Les Sylphides?” Silence. “Okay,…

Because It’s Uncomfortable

I keep putting off my blog post about dancing with Mr. Kelley. Because, it’s uncomfortable. Going back to old memories, be they happy or sad, feels difficult these days. It means recalling moments of disappointment, and at the same time, moments of utter joy. Moments with my mom. And I don’t feel like crying this…